A Friend Loves At All Times (Proverbs 17:17)

No doubt, this proverb has wide applications. Within the stories of the Bible, we have the account of the friendship of David and Jonathan, of Peter and John, of Paul and Timothy. In our own church tradition, there is the well-known friendship between McCheyne and Andrew Bonar. No doubt we have our own friends. What are the things that define friendship? We could suggest length, intensity, loyalty, comfortableness, interest in, willingness to protect, emotional connection. No doubt there are many more features.

The Bible mentions one surprising friendship, and it is God who speaks about it several hundred years after the friendship occurred. He mentions it through the prophet Isaiah in one of his messages to the people of Judah: ‘But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend’ (Isa. 41:8). Of course, it is possible to read the statement as suggesting that Abraham was still God’s friend in heaven. It could be that the aspects of friendship seen in this verse is that of company and conversation because they were features of their fellowship.

The Book of Proverbs makes several references to friendship, perhaps written by Solomon himself out of his own experience of friends. It is the case that those in high places can be lonely and may not be sure about how genuine some claims to friendship are. On the other hand, it would have been a privilege to have been a friend of Solomon, the great king. That possible experience points us to a friendship that is even greater than what Solomon could provide, the friendship of a greater King, that of the Son of God. I would like us to meditate on how Jesus expressed friendship in the past, expresses friendship today, and will express friendship tomorrow.

When does a friendship begin

Some people can trace the beginning of friendship back to their childhood, even before they went to primary school. They can look back to decades of connection with one person or perhaps with a few people. Regarding Jesus, when did he first become the friend of his people? The answer to this question is one that is beyond our minds to grasp. Maybe you cannot tell why a certain person is your friends, you just felt drawn to them. Jesus, we are told, was given his people by his Father in eternity, an eternal gift. It would be amazing if someone was to give you a friend as a present.

Jesus gladly embraced them as his friends and identified himself with them. Throughout the beginningless ages, when only God existed, Jesus the Son of God had a list of friends even although none of them had yet been created. But he knew all about them and anticipated with delight when he would meet them. If we are Christians now, Jesus was our friend back then.

A friend represents us

Sometimes a friend can stand in for a person. The friend may even pay debts that the person has. Jesus was our friend in representing his people and paying their debts caused by their sins. He provided for them what was demanded of them by God, but which they could not provide themselves, no matter what they tried. What did they have to provide? They were required to live a perfect life according to God’s law and they were responsible to pay the penalty for breaking it. The good news is that Jesus our friend did both for us and we should always keep that in mind.

On him fulfilling the law for us, we can say of ourselves that we have broken it as children, teenagers and adults. Jesus kept the law in those periods of his life and did so every hour of every day. We can also say of ourselves that we have broken the law inwardly and outwardly. We have broken it with our actions, attitudes and aims. Jesus in contrast kept the law in those areas, and he kept it gladly. He knew great joy as he lived out a life of perfect obedience. One way of considering his obedience is to recall how he loved God and his neighbour constantly, and these two commandments cover everything in life that we can and will face. But he did it for us because he was our friend.

Jesus also paid the penalty that was required of his friends by God. The penalty involved divine judgement for sin, something for us to be concerned about. The Saviour referred to this payment when he told his disciples that ‘Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends’ (John 15:13). He made that statement in the upper room on the evening of his arrest. Laying down his life involved him dying on the cross of Calvary, a death that depicted the astonishing fact that he had become cursed, abandoned by God, as our substitute. Paul reminded the Galatians that ‘Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”’ (Gal. 3:13). He voluntarily took the place that his friends should have had.

Of course, those with him in the upper room knew that they were his friends because they had been with him for three years and had discovered how much he had rejoiced to be with them. But Jesus was friendly towards individuals that did not yet know they could be a friend of his. One of them on that same night was lying in a cell waiting to be executed on the following day. He did not know then that Jesus would be so near him on the cross. But a few hours later, there they were, together at Calvary.

Although he initially did not want to be a friend of Jesus, that man realised that whatever was happening to Jesus on the cross was happening because of him. So he asked Jesus to do him a great favour and remember him in the kingdom that would soon begin. He heard an immediate answer from Jesus, assuring him that he would be with him that day in Paradise. And so it turned out as far as the man’s soul was concerned. Because of Jesus he went from condemnation to glory very quickly. And all of us who are Christians were remembered by Jesus when he went to the cross, although none of us were going to exist for almost two thousand years. Surely, we can say with the converted criminal, ‘What a friend we have in Jesus!’ And he is still saying it after two thousand years and he will say it forever to the many friends he will be with.

A friend gives us gifts

It is usual for a friend to give gifts to a friend, perhaps on our birthday or at Christmas, and a good friend will give something special. What gifts does Jesus give us? Here are three examples. 

First, sometimes a friend gives his friend some clothes to wear because his own clothes are unfit for use anywhere. Jesus gives a perfect suit to all his friends and that is the garment of his righteousness that we mentioned earlier, the life of his perfect obedience, and which he gives to us when we believe in him. It is a garment that can be worn everywhere, even in heaven as well as on earth. A garment that once given cannot be removed from the person by anyone.

Second, sometimes a friend gives someone a gift to remind his friend what he has done or will do for him. Jesus gives a gift to his friends that reminds them of him and that gift is another divine person, the Holy Spirit, and he delights to remind the friends of Jesus about all the things that belong to Jesus and them. What does he tell them about Jesus? He reminds them of the promises of Jesus to his friends, and they can be summarised as his pardon, his protection, his peace and his prospects. Each of those details has many aspects and maybe this afternoon you can ask the Holy Spirit to tell you about Jesus and the great and precious promises he has given to his friends.

Third, a friend can give his friend access to select areas such as a members club at an airport. Jesus gives his people access to the presence of God. Paul mentions this access several times, and when he mentions it he is alluding to a custom from his time that involved approaching a monarch. When an individual wanted to draw near to the presence of a ruler, he could join a queue to be assessed by officials about his suitability or he could be selected by an important person who would take him into the ruler’s presence because of special authority that he had. Paul uses this practice to illustrate how every believer is taken from the world and brought into the presence of God by Jesus. By access, he does not mean that we go in and out of a room many times. Rather he means that we have been taken from estrangement from God and brought to live in his presence continually, which is a wonderful reality.

A friend can provide friends for his friend.

Perhaps you have known the experience of having a friend introduce you to his friends and they became your friends as well. Jesus does something like that when he guides a new believer to join the church, whether in a local congregation or in the cosmic church of heaven and earth that has as its membership all the believers in Jesus who have ever lived. The church should be different from all other gatherings and meetings because it is a meeting of the friends of Jesus, gathered together in his name, and where he meets with them regularly with his hands full of blessings.

Another way of looking at this gathering could be illustrated by thinking of a person who meets an individual without a family and arranges for him to become a family member. Such a thing does not happen very often, but it has occasionally. The individual is no longer only a friend, but he becomes the brother of the friend. John tells us that Jesus does this for sinners: ‘to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God’ (John 1:12). He is the Elder Brother in the family.

A friend greets us after a journey

Sometimes we might be returning home on a flight. During the flight, there may be some bumps, but eventually you see the lights of the destination. The lights look very attractive and convey a sense of warmth to you even although you are still on the plane. And you know that your friend will be there to meet you because he said he would, and you look forward to the meeting as it gets closer.

Spiritually speaking, we are on a flight to glory, and we may be having some bumps at the moment. But every bump is actually an indication that we are closer to the destination. Then at some point we will see the lights of the heavenly city and they will convey a sense of peace and warmth that we never had before. Soon we will arrive and find ourselves being met by our heavenly Friend, Jesus. That will be a wonderful meeting. After all, in heaven, ‘even in the midst of such glory, will anything ever efface, that wonderful moment of moments, my first, first look at his face?’

Then our friend will greet us and welcome us to his Father’s house and will assure us that he intends to lead us through all the experiences of the New Jerusalem, especially to where the fountains of the water of life are located. In fact, eternity is endless time for discovering the beauty of friendship with Jesus and his people.