Kindness
A question that often is asked is, ‘What is the difference between kindness and goodness?’ I suppose one possible answer is that kindness is an expression of love for others whereas goodness describes the manner of action that a person does. A person could be kind in a wrong way. A poor person could steal some food and share it with his friends. His sharing is an expression of kindness, but his obtaining the food was not an expression of goodness. Kindness is the person’s disposition towards others.
One commentator points out that the name Chrestos comes from the word translated kindness and that it was a common name for a servant or a slave. He suggests that the word must have indicated a feature desired in a servant or slave as he or she interacted with others on behalf of the master. We could see how that suggestion would fit with the idea of Christians being servants of God, who wants them to be like him as revealed in his responses to others.
It is likely that there is a connection between each item in the fruit of the Spirit. God’s love brings joy to our hearts, such joy will bring about peace in our souls, and such peace will enable us to be patient with others and circumstances. Yet patience in itself is not enough when responding to others. In addition we are to be kind to them even if they are trying our patience. In the middle of the problems and the dilemmas they cause, we are required to be kind to them.
In the works of the flesh listed by Paul, we see several features that are incompatible with kindness such as enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, divisions and envy. Often we can tell what something should be like by considering what it cannot be. A kind person will not be marked by those works of the flesh. Where they happen, the person is not producing the fruit of kindness, no matter what claims to religious insights they may have. After all, in this letter to the Galatians, Paul is describing the problems caused by a religion that does not depend on the power of the Spirit. Some of the antics of the flesh were seen in those who promoted the wrong message.
The necessity of kindness can be described graphically in places. In Proverbs 21:21, we are told that ‘Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honour.’ No life, in the sense meant by the author, without a lot of kindness. There has to be an eager pursuit of it, relentless in a sense, almost a compulsion to be kind all the time. In Micah 6:8, the prophet summarises what God wants of us: ‘He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?’ Kindness, in that verse, is connected to steadfast, faithful love expressed between those who are in covenant with God. It is a challenge to be like God who values his covenant with them.
Paul’s emphasis on kindness
In Ephesians 4:32, Paul describes the evidence that will reveal if a person has been sealed by the Spirit as the divine mark of ownership, that he now belongs to the family of God. He also indicates the response that such a person should have if he is not to grieve the Spirit who has sealed him. Instead of responses such as ‘bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander’, Paul says that they should ‘Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.’
In that statement, Paul mentions two constant features of kindness as far as Christians are concerned. One is that they are tenderhearted and the other is that they forgive because they know that God forgave them for Christ’s sake. For a person to be tenderhearted, there must be empathy, understanding of the other person’s weakness, concern for their welfare, and willingness to help. The other feature is how Paul wanted them to reveal their tender heart – by showing forgiveness because God had forgiven them.
In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul tells Christians to put on their best clothes: ‘Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.’ Obviously, while believers are not clones, they should all look the same in some ways. As with his words in Ephesians, we can see that kindness is connected by Paul to the state of their hearts and also with the necessity of forgiveness. So whether they lived in the big city of Ephesus or the small town of Colosse, they should have on the same spiritual attire.
In 2 Corinthians 6:6, Paul says that kindness is part of the character of God’s servants, which is how he described his ministry in Thessalonica when he said that he and his colleagues Silas and Timothy were gentle with the new converts in the manner in which a nurse is gentle with young children.
Biblical examples of being kind
One day, a young woman went to a well. There was an old man there who looked devout. He asked her if she would give him some water. She responded quickly and gave him a drink. Then she told him that she would draw water for his camels. Little did she know that the old man had prayed that she would make this response. When he asked if there was any accommodation for him and his men in her family home, she immediately said that there was. We are speaking about Rebekah and that story tells us a lot about kindness. Obviously, the old man, Abraham’s servant, thought that spontaneous and continuing kindness was the most important feature that he wanted to see in a prospective wife for Isaac. By her response, Rebekah revealed that she was kind. Moreover, her future life depended on her showing kindness at that moment. What would have happened if she had only given the man a drink and did not mention the camels? He would have thanked her and moved on, and we would not have heard about her. Because she showed kindness, she found herself in a place of amazing divine blessing as an ancestor of the Messiah.
Think of Boaz and his response to Ruth. She was a Moabite, an enemy of Israel. Although having undergone difficult life experiences, including the loss of her husband, she determined to show kindness to her mother-in-law, Naomi, and went with her when she returned to Bethlehem. She had no idea how the local people there would regard her, a Moabite. Yet her kindness had not gone unnoticed by Boaz and he therefore showed kindness to her as she gleaned in his fields. As we know, God in his kindness arranged for her to become the wife of Boaz. She went from facing a life of poverty to a life of plenty and we can see that God blessed her as an outcome of her kindness to a destitute widow. Like Rebekah, Ruth found herself an ancestor of Jesus. A Moabite who was barred from worshipping the God of Israel by the prohibitions of the ceremonial law, was by divine grace moved into helping the development of the line from which Jesus would come.
Think of Mephibosheth. Where was he in the providence of God? His nurse had dropped him when he was a child, and the outcome was that he became a cripple. Yet he would have felt secure because his grandfather Saul was king. But one day Saul was killed in battle along with Jonathan, the father of Mephibosheth. Another person became king in Saul’s place. It was the custom for a new king to punish all connected to the previous regime, and perhaps Mephibosheth would have feared for his life. He may not have known that his father had been the close friend of David’s, and that David in his heart wanted to show kindness to Mephibosheth. He received from David all the land that had belonged to his family and was allowed to live in the king’s palace. David’s kindness to him was extraordinary, but it was the kindness of the man who is described as being after God’s heart. He showed great kindness to a man who was not in a position to show kindness to him, although we should not forget that David’s kindness ensured the loyalty of Mephibosheth when a later rebellion broke out in the land.
Kindness, the first of graces
How long does it take for a new convert to show kindness to others? Consider the example of the Philippian jailor. He was given charge of Paul and Silas in his prison, but he was probably indifferent to that responsibility. After all, they were not the first prisoners he had received in his role, and he would have received more as long as he was employed in that post. His providence seemed uncomfortable when the earthquake occurred that loosed the chains binding the prisoners. Yet he discovered that he could be pardoned by God through faith in Christ. His first response was to show kindness to Paul and Silas by washing their wounds and then giving them a meal. God’s kindness had touched his heart and made him into a new man who immediately showed kindness, which would not have been required in his job description.
Or take Zacchaeus, the wealthy tax collector from Jericho who out of curiosity wanted to see Jesus and climbed up a tree to do so. Compelled by Jesus, he took the Saviour to his house for a meal, and after spending some time with Jesus he stood up to say something. Previously, Zacchaeus would have shouted out, ‘Pay up,’ but now he stated that he was going to pay out. Being with Jesus had made Zacchaeus kind, much kinder that what he was required to be according to the ceremonial law. Like the jailor, the tax-collector showed the change in his life by expressing kindness.
Becoming kind
Jesus describes the life of discipleship in Matthew 11:29-30: ‘Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ The word translated as ‘easy’ means kindly. It means that learning from Jesus is pleasant and effective, with the outcome being that the pupils become like the Master. The yoke is the teaching of Jesus, and the burden is the demands of his teaching. His instructions are clear and suitable. It is much more unpleasant to disobey his instructions than it is to obey them. They are the expression of his kindness, of him not only giving us the best motivation but also the best means for pleasing God. Since he is kind in his heart and actions, they will be kind in their hearts and actions. What features are found in biblical kindness?
There will be at least the following aspects. First, there will be a determination to show it – kindness cannot be hidden. Second, there will be diligence in locating those who need to be shown it, even as Jesus went out of his way to show kindness to the woman of Sychar. Third, there will not be any discrimination regarding to whom it is shown – no ethnic preferences, no limiting of it by social standing, or ageism. That is what Jesus was like. Wherever he was, he was kind, even when he was on the cross. And was he not kind on the resurrection day when he sought out those who had failed him on Good Friday and blessed them with his peace?
In Matthew 25, there is a description of the Day of Judgement. Jesus the judge mentions various activities that pleased him such as feeding the hungry, welcoming strangers, clothing the needy, visiting the isolated (the sick and the imprisoned), especially among his people (his brothers). Those actions are his revealed will, and they are expressions of kindness. Which of them is hard, apart maybe from visiting the imprisoned? In contrast, the teachings of the Pharisees, with their numerous and ridiculous demands, were heavy and burdensome. It is possible to throw off the demands of the Pharisees and not take up Christ’s kind yoke.
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