Jesus and His Mother (John 19:25-27)

John was the only apostle who was found at the cross when Jesus was crucified. He mentions the actions of the soldiers as they crucified Jesus, but he does not mention the prayer that Jesus made on their behalf. Nor does he mention the interaction between Jesus and the penitent criminal. Yet he does mention sayings by Jesus that other Gospels do not record and one of those sayings is what Jesus said regarding his mother.

Jesus and his mother

After his birth and the various events connected to it that were required by the Levitical law the first incident recorded about Jesus and his mother is when his parents inadvertently left him behind in Jerusalem when he was about twelve years of age. His response to them when they found him in the temple indicates an important feature of his childhood, which was that they should have expected him to be involved in thinking about matters to do with the heavenly Father (Luke 2:49). Then he went back with them in Nazareth and was subject to them. Luke also adds that Mary treasured these things in her heart, which means that she saw them not as curious but as very valuable.

The next incident involving his mother occurs more than eighteen years later, shortly after Jesus had commenced his public ministry. She and he were at a wedding in Cana when the wine ran out (John 2:1-12). Her response was to tell Jesus about it. Obviously she assumed that he would be able to deal with the problem, although it is not necessary to assume that she thought he would perform a miracle to solve the issue (after all, his turning the water into wine is said to have been his first miracle). Again we can see from this incident a feature that must have marked the home in Nazareth, which was that Mary had experienced the wisdom of Jesus in solving problems.

The reply of Jesus to his mother includes what can be termed a mild rebuke when he informed her that his hour had not yet come. The implication is that she thought it had, but we are not told why she thought so. Whatever the reason, she should have waited until he chose to make his ministry more public, which he began to do a few months later.

Some time later, after Jesus had moved from Nazareth to Capernaum, Mary and her other sons went down there in order to take Jesus back to Nazareth. This response seems to have been out of character for Mary from a spiritual point of view. She wanted to stop Jesus continuing with his public ministry and come home. We can understand maternal concerns about his increasing travels round the country. Still, she and her other sons should not have tried to stop him. The other sons were not believers at the time, but Mary was. Indeed, she had believed in the promised Messiah before she had discovered she was going to be his mother, and she had continued to believe in him after he was born to her. Whatever the reason for her participation in this family scheme, we can see that was possible for those who were closest to Jesus to make big mistakes. Her mistake resulted in her, and his brothers, receiving a rebuke from Jesus who stated that his family were those who did the will of God (Mark 3:20-21, 31-35).

The devotion of the women

It has often been observed that women have shown great love and tenacity for the cause of Christ and here we have an example of such female dedication. The love of this set of women was not an informed one in the sense that they anticipated his resurrection because we can see from other Gospel references that they did not expect him to be raised on the third day as he had said. Instead, they went to the tomb of Joseph on the third day to give proper attention to the dead body of Jesus. That action too was an act of love, and no doubt was recorded in heaven, but they did lose the benefits that would have come to them if they had anticipated his resurrection with joy. Nevertheless, we salute their love and commend them for their willingness to remain close to Jesus, despite the dangers that could have come their way from being identified with a person crucified as a criminal.

It is not clear if John mentions three or four women. There are definitely three called Mary – Mary the mother of Jesus, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. What is not clear is whether the phrase ‘his mother’s sister’ refers to Mary the wife of Clopas or to a fourth woman. It would be unusual for two daughters in the same family to both be called Mary. Other Gospels tell us that Salome was there (Matt. 27:56; Mark 15:40), and it could be that John means her by this description. If that is what he meant, then since Salome was the mother of James and John, they would have been cousins of Jesus.

As we consider the women, it is natural that we turn attention to Mary the mother of Jesus. We will recall what was said to her by Simeon at the time of the presentation of Jesus in the temple as an infant: ‘And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed”’ (Luke 2:34-35). The sword had now reached her heart as she observed her firstborn Son, the one about whom she had been told so many amazing things by the angel at his birth, and the one whom she had observed throughout his life. Maybe she tried to understand what was happening, but until his resurrection and ascension it could not be fully appreciated that his death was intended by God, that it was not a tragedy, that it was more than a travesty of human justice, that it was the way whereby salvation would come to a countless number of sinners.

Their experiences reminds us that the best way to be near the cross is to have a biblical understanding of what took place there. We now know much more that they did. Yet the challenge still comes to us: are our informed hearts as much in love with Jesus as their misinformed hearts were? And they ask us the challenging question, ‘Are you willing to stand by the cross even if only a small number are doing so?’

The dedication of Jesus

There are different ways in which we can consider this provision arranged for Mary by Jesus. Obviously, it was an action of a devoted son who desired to keep the fifth commandment of the Decalogue and take care of his mother (his action here indicates that probably Joseph was no longer alive). Given that he put her into the care of John and not one of her own family may point to the possibility that he did this because he cared for her spiritual health as well as her physical needs. John and Jesus had a special relationship – he was the disciple whom he loved – and that relationship would also provide spiritual support for Mary. Church tradition assumes that Mary went with John for the rest of her life and that she died in Ephesus many years later, having gone there with him when he moved there.

This action of Jesus was also part of his obedience in the sense that he was keeping the law perfectly on behalf of his people. His keeping of the law required that he always did the right thing at any appropriate time. The law of God was in his heart and so was the God of the law. He always did what pleased the Father, and the action required of him to express his love for the Father was for him to show compassion for his mother in her need. His mother benefitted for many years from this act of obedience, and we can say that we will benefit from it not just for a few years but for eternity. 

We need, and so did Mary, a perfect Saviour, one who was flawless. We can imagine a priest in Israel, as he examined an animal about to be offered as a sacrifice, to notice a little defect in it. He would have to say to the worshipper, ‘This animal is unsuitable because of that defect.’ What if Jesus had ignored his mother’s needs when he saw her from the cross? Someone could point at the defect and say that he was unsuitable. That did not happen, because Jesus does not have minor or major defects. He is perfect in all his ways.

The desire of Jesus

What did Jesus mean when he said, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Calling her by the title ‘Woman’ was not an indication of indifference, but it was an expression of respect. It is the way that he had addressed her when he performed his first miracle at Cana, when he turned water into wine.

Is ‘son’ a reference to Jesus or a reference to John? Some have tried to see in it a reference to Jesus as if he was asking his mother to look at him on the cross. But that is not right. Jesus asked his mother to look carefully at the provision he was making for her. And he asked the beloved disciple to look carefully at the responsibility he was giving to him. Is that not how we should look at the provisions and the responsibilities that Jesus gives to us?

John during his years as a disciple was given several privileges by Jesus. During the three years of the public ministry of Jesus, he was the disciple whom Jesus loved, and who lay on his breast affectionately on the last evening the disciples had with Jesus before the cross. John was one of the inner three disciples who was given access to the raising of the daughter of Jairus, the transfiguration of Jesus on the top of a mountain, and the agony of Jesus in Gethsemane. Later, he would have the privilege of spreading the faith round the world and of composing letters and a book that would be included in the divinely-inspired New Testament. At the cross, he was given two more privileges at the same time. He was given the privilege of looking after Mary, and that privilege had the additional one of him receiving the last instruction that the Master issued before his death. No doubt, when he looked back on his life, John would feel very unworthy at receiving such blessings, but they would all be very precious to him.

Whatever else could be said about this new relationship arranged by Jesus, it would be one of love for him. Both of them loved Jesus intensely and we can easily imagine them in after years speaking about the many expressions of the love of Jesus that they had known. And is that not the meaning of Christian fellowship, to share what we know about the Lord and serve him.

It is clear from the account that Mary willingly accepted the new arrangement. What is not so clear is whether John took her away from the cross immediately or if he and she waited until Jesus died. If John took her away immediately, he must have returned to Calvary because he witnessed the soldiers’ treatment of the dead body of Jesus (John 19:35). The fact that he took Mary to his home indicates that not only did John have property in Jerusalem, it also shows that his call to be an apostle and forsake all to follow Jesus did not mean a literal abandoning of all his possessions.

As said in the previous paragraph, it cannot be stated with definiteness that John took Mary away immediately. But it is possible to see a reason why he would have done so. The Saviour may have wanted his mother taken away from Calvary before he entered into the experience where he cried out about a sense of being forsaken by God. Still, such a possibility is only conjecture on our part.

How can we summarise what took place with regard to this third saying of Jesus on the cross? We see that Jesus was in control of his thoughts as he suffered, that he was tender to his mother even in the midst of his sufferings, and that he chose what was best for his mother, even if others might have wondered at the arrangement. The cross continues to shed light on the obedience of Jesus to his Father’s law. Not only did he love his neighbours when he prayed for the soldiers, not only did he love the penitent criminal who asked to be remembered in the kingdom, but he also delighted to obey the fifth commandment which required him to honour his mother.