Disappointment (Psalm 73)

There are different kinds of disappointment in life. Sometimes the causes of disappointment are temporary and often are forgotten with the passing of time. We might not have got the job we thought we wanted, but twenty years later we cannot recall what the work was about. At other times, the causes are lifelong such as the consequences of an illness. Maybe the source of the cause is in ourselves or maybe it was or is caused by someone else. Sometimes, the cause of disappointment is shallow and not worth speaking about whereas at other times the cause is so deep that it affects us for the rest of our lives. 

Who is the most disappointed person in the Bible? 

Imagine Adam, in his 950th year, counting his numerous descendants. Which of them had not, in some way, been a disappointment to him? After all, his oldest son had been away from the family for most of that time. And Adam’s second son had been murdered by his older brother. Adam also knew that all the future descendants of his existing descendants too will have disappointments. And no doubt all of them were disappointed with him. How did he celebrate his birthday? 

Or Job, who in a sequence of disasters, did not experience disappointment after disappointment, but instead disappointment upon disappointment. His disappointments commence after we are told about his commendable life of concern for his family that they would serve God in their activities. Yet, in his case, one disappointment did not end before the next one began. Instead they landed on top of one another, adding to the weight of disappointment that he had to carry. His disappointments were not the outcome of personal sin or anyone else’s sin.

Or Moses, who was disappointed with people who frequently opposed his leadership, and disappointed with himself when he, the meekest of men, lost his temper and as a consequence did not enter the promised land, but only was able to see it from the top of a mountain on the border of Canaan. What disappointment did he have when he discovered that his brother Aaron had made a golden calf?

Or Caleb and Joshua, when they came back with a favourable report of the promised land and urged the Israelites to proceed because they knew that God could deal with all the powerful inhabitants of the land. What must Caleb and Joshua thought when the nations chose instead to listen to those who had no faith in God.

Or David, when he wrote Psalms 32 and 51, laments about tragic mistakes he had made in life, mistakes that were connected to sins that revealed the depths of his inner corruption. The man after God’s own heart surely was a disappointed man when he wrote those psalms and had experienced some sad consequences because of them.

Or Paul, disappointed with what happened in most of the churches that he founded, or disappointed with those who abandoned him in his times of need, especially when he came towards the close of his life, as he mentions in his last letter, 2 Timothy. Of course, he believed in the sovereignty of God and knew the riches of the grace of God. Yet he knew disappointment.

Or even Jesus, when he said to Philip, ‘Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip?’ (John 14:9). And then there is his comment to the disciples in the garden of Gethsemane, ‘Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation’ (Luke 22:46). What sense of disappointment did he experience when the rich young ruler refused to become a disciple?

It is obvious that disappointment marks the lives of those who are prominent in the Bible. Some of the greatest saints sensed disappointment more than once in their lives. And what can we say in response to the fact that Jesus was disappointed at times with what his closest followers did?

Who is the most disappointed person in the church?

While it is not for us to guess about others, it is appropriate to ask what disappointments we have. Some of them will have been caused by our own sins and foolish actions. Or we might be disappointed by the thoughts we have at times. Or we can be disappointed by other people and their failures. 

We may not wish to say it too loud, but we may be disappointed with God. He did not give us the job we wanted, or he may not have removed yet the heavy burdens that we carry. The matters that we pray most about he does not seem to be interested in, yet we see that he answers the same prayers in the lives of others. We want God to do such things for us, and until he does, we wonder why and are disappointed.

When does deep disappointment come?

Usually when a person has done his or her best. We have met people who are not bothered about what happens in life. They do not have the satisfaction of recognition or the disappointment of non-recognition. Whether a plan works or does not work is met with a shrug. But when someone is ignored after having done their best, there can be deep disappointment and that disappointment can lead to resentment.

For Christians, disappointment can occur because they want God to be glorified in their lives. I recall years ago how a group of Christians gave out literature to every house in Inverness. We prayed earnestly about it and spent a lot of time doing it. Thousands of letters of invitation were given offering follow-up. Five people responded, and two were from Christians objecting to the booklet. Other Christians said, ‘we told you this would happen.’ I don’t recall anyone appreciating the sense of disappointment that the group had, and I suspect that the miserable comforters had not bothered to help in prayer. Of course, we have no means of knowing if God used the booklets to bring people to know him. Maybe some came across the booklet years later and were converted.

At other times, we can be disappointed because what we had planned was taking the place of God in our lives. This can happen with promotion in work. God can prevent it happening because he knows where it can take us, but we are disappointed and angry. Or God may allow it to happen and we discover that we have become spiritually dry and are disappointed and frustrated.

A fourth time of disappointment can occur when the outcome was unexpected. Sometimes, surprises can bring joy, but at other times they may cause consternation. But an unexpected outcome may not be sudden. We can pray for something for a long time, but our prayers seem to get nowhere. 

Responding to disappointment

Some disappointments can be dealt with straightforwardly. Our disappointment with personal sin can be treated by confession of sin. When we sin, we should go to God and confess it. He has given many great promises in connection with forgiveness such as when John writes that if we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God can deal with the disappointment we feel over our sin.

Our disappointment with the way we do not have what others have can be treated by contentment with what we have. Contentment is a great blessing because, after all, we don’t deserve to have anything, yet God has given to us what he thinks we should have. It is sad when Christians lose this perspective and it is often a reason why they become worldly minded.

A third way to respond to some disappointments is consideration of what place we gave to the things that we have lost before we lost them. Some people make idols out of good things, like a work situation, so God takes it away. We can easily see this in the lives of others. But sometimes it happens to us. 

A fourth way of responding to disappointment is that we change our way of life. Maybe we discover through disappointment the emptiness of something and how our involvement in it was a waste of time. Through realising the futility of such an existence, we change our way of life as far as that focus is concerned. In this way, disappointment has brought about a radical change in our priorities.

A fifth way of responding to disappointment is consecration. Sometimes we know why the disappointment has taken place and we sense that God has intervened for our good. At other times, we cannot tell why the disappointment has occurred and everyone else is like Job’s comforters, useless and wrong in their opinions. But we can make the same response to the different disappointments, which is to dedicate ourselves to God and consecrate ourselves to his service.

A sixth way of responding to disappointment is by contemplation of the plan of salvation. In times of trouble, we can turn our minds and think about what the Bible reveals about the glories to come. When we do that, our minds can find rich consolation. And in the middle of our contemplation we should consider Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. 

The purpose of disappointment

In this final section, we can consider four purposes of disappointment. The first has to do with our faith. I suspect that disappointment is one of the common methods that God uses to strengthen the faith of his people. He weans them away from other refuges and brings them to trust in him alone. Through disappointment caused by the changing attitudes of people or things, they discover the wonder of having a Saviour who never changes. Samuel Rutherford once wrote about the blessings that came from the file that God was using to shape and mould him. By this illustration, he meant that God had used hard things in his life to strengthen his faith.

The second purpose of disappointment is to enable us to have fellowship with God. Have we ever thought about whether God is disappointed with us? After all, what does he mean when he says, ‘I have nourished and brought up children and they have rebelled against me’? Or what did he feel when he said that he had stretched out his hand all day long towards a disobedient people? What does Paul mean when he says that the Holy Spirit is grieved by his people? Whatever else is included in the description, there must be an element of disappointment in his grieving the actions that cause it. Our fellowship with the Father and with the Son is a wonderful truth. But what are the areas in which we have fellowship? Surely, fellowship involves sharing one’s feelings. And disappointment is one way of realising of God feels when we are not what we should be.

A third purpose of disappointment in the Christian life is to make us long for the world of glory that is yet to appear. In the new heavens and new earth, there will never be a second of disappointment about anything, whether it is the environment, the people who are with us, or the providence that will govern our eternal existence. In what ways can God lead us to think of the world to come? Surely, disappointment is one of the ways that he frequently does this.

A fourth purpose of disappointment is that although we do not realise it others are observing our response to it and they see the wonder of God’s grace at work within our lives. And they are encouraged by what is happening to us to trust in God to help them in their troubles.

The final point I wish to make is to remind you of the well-known suggestion regarding disappointment. Chane the first letter from a D to an H, and then disappointment becomes His appointment.