Gentleness (Phil. 4:5)

As we have noted in previous addresses, Paul in this section of his letter is instructing his readers in Philippi regarding how they should live in light of the wonderful fact that their King is coming. Neither he nor they knew when Jesus would come, and they did not need to know that detail. What they did know, however, was how they should live. In this section Paul has already mentioned the necessity of harmony and of joy. It should not make any difference regarding these features of Christian living whether Jesus is coming tomorrow or in a hundred years’ time.

The third feature, after unity and joy, that Paul says should be seen in Christians, as they await their Master’s return, is gentleness. The word translated gentleness has a range of meaning: it includes forbearance, considerateness and kindness as well as gentleness. All these outlooks are inter-connected and perhaps are manifestations of the same attitude in different situations.

Paul stresses that their gentleness has to be seen by others: ‘Let your gentleness be known to all men.’ And he also says why it should be seen: ‘The Lord is at hand.’ At the very least, Paul is stating that gentleness is an essential aspect of Christian witness. This, of course, means that harshness or similar traits prevent a believer giving a good Christian witness. So we must realise that the absence of gentleness in a person’s character is sin.

Further, the necessity of visible gentleness raises the question as to what we desire to be known for. Imagine that on the day of your death, a group of people who knew you well are talking about you. One of them suggests that the others attempt to sum up your life in one word. Perhaps one will say you were clever, or you were dedicated, or you were religious, or you were theological. Would any say that you were gentle?

It is important to recognise that Paul is not talking about shyness here. Many a person who is shy in public is not gentle at home. Nor is he referring to the kind of tolerance that never disagrees with what is wrong in order to keep an imagined peace. A gentle person will be angry when he or she should be. Jesus was angry when he cleared the temple, but he remained gentle. As a matter of fact, it is an impressive sight to see a gentle person angry. When a rash person expresses anger, the response of others is likely to be that they think he has lost his temper again. But they will note when a gentle person is angry because of sin. 

Gentleness is important to a Christian’s witness because it tells others what Jesus is like, what the indwelling Holy Spirit is like, what the church is like. If gentleness is absent, he hides the Saviour from others, he hinders the work of the indwelling Spirit, and he makes public that there is at least one ungentle person in his church.

Christlikeness

It has often been observed that one of the few self-descriptions that Jesus gives of himself refers to his gentleness. Matthew records these well-known words in 11:28-30: ‘Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ These words contain several thoughts that could be reflected on such as the meaning of ‘heavy-laden’ or how Christ’s burden is ‘light’. For just now, we should observe that Jesus regarded the phrase in italics as a qualification for teaching his disciples. We are used to the idea that teachers should have appropriate qualifications. In the school of Jesus, the best Teacher is gentle and humble.

There are many witnesses to how Jesus responded in a gentle manner. The first witness is Peter. He is a very important witness because he can refer to many incidents in which he observed the gentleness of Jesus. For now, he can remind us of the incident when he had been fishing all night and caught nothing (Luke 5:1-11). He felt a bit frustrated, perhaps annoyed at his failure. Then along came Jesus and used his boat in order to preach from it to the crowd. After the sermon, he proceeded to instruct Peter, the experienced fisherman, about the best place to fish. Peter was not very convinced about this suggestion, but he discovered that Jesus knew best, and many fish were caught. This caused Peter to run to Jesus and say, ‘Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.’ Very gently, Jesus said to him, ‘Do not be afraid. From now on you will catch men.’ 

The second witness is the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). She had been frogmarched into the presence of Jesus by the religious leaders who demanded that he condemn her. Instead he responded by saying that the one without sin should throw the first stone at her. To her great surprise, each of these religious leaders slunk away and she found herself alone with Jesus. He said to her very gently, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.’

The third witness comes from the centurion who was in charge of the squad of men who nailed Jesus to the cross (Luke 23:32-24). He had done this task many times before, but the response of Jesus was unique. The others that he had crucified had cursed and sworn and lashed out. Jesus simply prayed, ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.’ He gently responded to the actions of the soldiers, and later that day they were converted (Matt. 27:54).

The fourth witness is Mary Magdalene, and she can tell what she experienced on the day Jesus arose from the dead (John 20:1-18). She had determined to take care of the body of Jesus as a final gesture of love. Yet she had discovered that the tomb was empty, and an angel had informed her that Jesus was risen from the dead. Although she had gone and told Peter and John that the tomb was empty, it would take more than the words of an angel to cause Mary to have hope. When Jesus drew near to her as she wept in the garden, she imagined that he was the gardener who had removed the body of Jesus. Despite her lack of faith on this important day, Jesus gently said to her, ‘Mary.’

These selected incidents confirm that Jesus was gentle when he was here on earth. Yet we can listen to another set of witnesses – his people. They have found that he has dealt gently with them. When they found themselves being rebuked by others in the days of their spiritual darkness, they discovered that Jesus could do more than rebuke. The ones that rebuked them had no power to pardon, but Jesus gently forgave them. When they made spiritual mistakes on important days like Mary, and imagined that they have spoiled it, they heard gentle Jesus calling them by name. When they questioned his dealings in providence like Peter, they heard Jesus telling them to fear not. They can testify that throughout life Jesus has been gentle with them. Life has been a school where the Teacher has displayed that his qualifications are up-to-date.

Fruit of the Spirit

I am sure that many a teacher has experienced the frustration of not being able to communicate their knowledge into the minds of their pupils. With Jesus, it is different because he not only gives instruction and exemplification, he also sends the Holy Spirit into the inner lives of his pupils to change them into the likeness of their Master.

Many of the emblems and pictures of the Holy Spirit point to his gentleness as he works in our lives. For example, he is likened to a gentle wind or to a dove. We are warned not to grieve him by our sins; he is sensitive and saddened by our faults.

The various features that Paul is describing in this section of his letter are all aspects of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). In appealing for harmony between Euodia and Syntyche, he is appealing for brotherly love. He has urged his readers to rejoice in the Lord, and later he will refer to the peace of God in their hearts. Along with gentleness, these features are part of the fruit of the Spirit. An illustration is an orange with its various segments. All these spiritual segments were seen in Jesus and have been gifted to us by Jesus. It is the work of the Spirit to transform us into the image of Christ. But just as an orange requires all its segments to be good, so we cannot omit one of the spiritual segments, such as gentleness, and imagine that we are healthy-looking fruit. Without gentleness, we are impaired fruit.

We should be able to see why we need each aspect of the fruit of the Spirit. Lack of gentleness is one of the main causes of disunity in a congregation. Similarly, a failure to act in a gentle manner is a certain way of ensuring that peace disappears. Because a Christian was not gentle in a situation, he cannot be happy about that incident and so his joy vanishes.

Areas of gentleness 

When a person handles an item that is precious, such as a family heirloom or an expensive ornament, he or she will take hold of it gently. Gentleness is necessary because the item is fragile and can be damaged easily. Sometimes the damage cannot be repaired, and permanent loss is the consequence of not being gentle. Probably most wives cringe when they see their husbands picking up an ornament, but their concern will disappear if they note that their husbands are gentle with it. That common incident is a reminder that gentleness has to be seen, and Paul states that gentleness has to be consistent (all the time) and comprehensive (seen by all we contact).

This means that Christian relationships have to be marked by gentleness. Paul was aware that Euodia and Syntyche were not having that type of interaction. Instead of having sensitivity for one another, they were having a prolonged disagreement with one another. They were in danger of causing permanent damage to one another.

Another aspect of church life that should be marked by gentleness is church discipline. Paul, when writing to the Galatians about their wrong practices, urges them concerning restoration: ‘Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted’ (Gal. 5:1). Paul uses a different word for gentleness, but the meaning is similar as the word in our text. They are to deal with the backsliding Christian in the way we would deal with a broken jar that means a lot to us. We will take the broken pieces and put them together gently. This is what Paul was saying to the person called ‘true yokefellow’ in verse 3. He was to restore Euodia and Syntyche to their former beauty, so that once again Jesus could put them up on display in his cabinet (the church). A backslider is never restored by harsh treatment. It is not surprising that an essential feature of an elder is gentleness (1 Tim. 3:3).

A third area in which gentleness was to be seen was in the way the believers responded to their opponents. Retaliation is always a temptation, especially when a person is treated unjustly. Persecution was common for Christians in the first century, and it is found in many places in the world today. In Romans 12:19-20, Paul writes to the Christians: ‘Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”’ Even when they were taken to court, Peter says that they should ‘in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behaviour in Christ may be put to shame’ (1 Pet. 3:15-16).  

Gentleness has to be cultivated within before it can be on display without. A person who has a rash spirit is not gentle; he is merely able to prevent his rash spirit being displayed. Yet if he is fuming inside, he is not gentle. Having said that, not one of us is perfect. Therefore we need to pay attention to developing gentleness. We will not get it by saying repeatedly, ‘I must be gentle.’ Instead we have to spend time with Jesus, engage earnestly in prayer for it, learn to pause before responding to provocation, and think often of the world where all the inhabitants are gentle (heaven). Gentleness is found in those who are Christlike, prayerful, careful and heavenly-minded. 

Why should we be gentle?

Paul also gives the answer to this question in our verse. We must be gentle because the Lord is near. The meaning of the phrase could be spatial, indicating that the Lord is beside you, that he is witnessing who you are at all times. Should you find an ungentle attitude arising in your heart or an ungentle word appearing on your lips, remember the Lord is beside you. The best attitude to show in his presence is gentleness.

Alternatively, the meaning of the phrase could be temporal, indicating that the coming of the Lord is near. If this is the meaning, Paul is wanting his readers to ask themselves a simple question: what would I like to be saying or doing at the very moment when Jesus returns? We would be very embarrassed if the Prime Minister walked into our home while we were having an argument with our spouse. One day, a greater than the Prime Minister will arrive, unexpectedly. An essential way to prepare for his arrival is gentleness.